Blog with The Bunch
Quick Jokes with The Bunch
The Bunch 16 January, 2009 - 12:36 PM
- What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?.....Bacon and legs.
Or:
- A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you, you're off your face!"
See what happens when you leave the jokes to us? That's why we want yours!!!
Obviously, keep your jokes lean and keep them clean...ish, otherwise we can't publish them.
(49)
-
Barry Inder says
A guy decides to throw out some old clothes. He checks the pocket of his suit before doing so and finds a shoe repair ticket from 1988. He knows that the Shoe Repair business is still going strong so he pays them a visit. He explains to the owner about the 20 year old ticket and asks him if they still have his shoes.
The owner goes to the back of the store and rummages around. He returns five minutes later and says "Yeah, I found them. They should be ready by next Thursday"
Posted Wednesday 21 January, 2009 6:25 AM -
Lisa says
Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome .
Posted Thursday 22 January, 2009 11:40 PM
One leans over to the other and says, 'I've never come this way before.'
The other nun whispers, 'It's the cobblestones' -
Mike says
The Medical Profession speaks out on the Financial Bail Out Package.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, and the Dermatologists advised not to
make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling
about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of
nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a
misconception. The
Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted; the Pathologists
yelled, 'Over my dead body!' while the Paediatricians said,
'Oh, Grow up!' The
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could
see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the
whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and
the Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.' The
Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the
scheme wouldn't hold water. The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a
gas; and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some as*holes in
Posted Friday 23 January, 2009 9:00 PM
Washington. -
Barry Inder says
A man hears a knock at his front door. He opens it and a 6 foot cockroach punches him in the face and walks away.
Posted Saturday 24 January, 2009 9:49 AM
He reports the assault to the police. An officer takes a statement and says to him afterwards "I'm not surprised. I heard that there was a nasty bug going around." -
Barry Inder says
Two Nuns are showering together. One turns to the other and says "Where's the soap?".
Posted Saturday 24 January, 2009 6:51 PM
The other Nun says "Yes, it does, doesn't it?" -
Barry Inder says
A baby camel is curious about himself and asks his mother some questions.
Baby: "Mum, why do I have this hump on my back?"
Mum: "So you can store water in it before going on long trips through the hot desert."
Baby: "And why do I have these thick pads on the underside of my feet?"
Mum: "So the hot desert sand doesn't burn your feet."
Baby: "And why do I have these long, fluttering eyelashes?"
Mum: "So they can protect your eyes during a sandstorm in the hot desert."
Baby: "So why do I live in Moscow Zoo?"
Posted Sunday 25 January, 2009 5:42 AM -
Barry Inder says
A hospital Doctor approaches a patient at his bedside and says to him "I'm afraid I've got some Good news and some Bad news".
The patient says "What's the Bad news?"
The Doctor says "I'm afraid you only have hours to live".
The patient says "So what's the Good news?"
The Doctor says "Do you see the sexy, voluptuous nurse with the heaving breasts standing at the end of the ward?"
The patient says "Yes?"
The Doctor says "Well, she has finally agreed to have sex with me."
Posted Sunday 25 January, 2009 5:50 AM -
Cyndy Donovan says
Two cows were standing in a paddock. One cow says to the other cow "Moo!" and the other cow said "Darn! I was going to say that!"
Posted Monday 26 January, 2009 11:05 PM -
Barry Inder says
An Englishman wins Lotto, buys a Maserati sports car and decides to ship it over to Ireland to try it out on the open country roads. Once there, he soon has it reaching speeds of over 200km/hr.
Further down the road a couple of farmhands, Patrick & Michael, are driving their haycart out of a field when Paddy decides to stop the cart in the middle of the road.
The Englishman comes hurtling around the bend in his Maserati, sees the cart immediately in his path and swerves to avoid it. The car crashes through the field hedge, rolls three times, bursts into flames and kills the driver instantly.
Posted Wednesday 28 January, 2009 3:28 AM
Mick turns to his mate and says Bejaysus Paddy. Would you believe dat? It seems like we got out of dat field just in time. -
Barry Inder says
A washing powder salesman goes door knocking trying to sell a new powder. One housewife is not convinced by his claims of how good it is so he decides to give a demonstration. He fills a tub with water, adds the powder and asks her to bring some dirty laundry.
She produces her husband's handkerchief and he takes it and dunks it in the tub and says Rub-a-Dub-Dub, into the Tub, Up to the Light, Shining Bright, Up to your Nose, Smells like a Rose. The hanky is bright and clean.
He asks her for more dirty laundry so she produces a dirty tea-towel. He takes it and dunks it in the tub and says Rub-a-Dub-Dub, into the Tub, Up to the Light, Shining Bright, Up to your Nose, Smells like a Rose. The tea-towel is bright and clean.
He asks her for something more challenging so she whips off her knickers and hands them to him. He looks at them apprehensively, takes them and dunks them in the tub and says Rub-a-Dub-Dub, into the Tub, Up to the Light, Shining Bright, Up to your Nose, Rub-a-Dub-Dub, into the Tub...
Posted Wednesday 28 January, 2009 3:30 AM
